All too often the question does come up as to whom should pay the check/ bill at the end of the date. It is widely agreed between both men and women that on the first date that men should pay. However, there has been a long debate as to whom should pay thereafter.
Men have their reservations as to why men should not be paying for every date - They are as follows;
1. PAYING FOR A WOMAN'S ATTENTION - It comes across as though we are paying for the woman's attention... If it is ever going to get past the dating phase then there needs to some kind of sharing. Besides a relationship is a shared venture and not a one-sided journey...
2. EQUALITY - The term equality should not only apply to certain things like equal pay in the workforce, or being treated equally respect wise....Equality should apply to everything and not only when its convinient to the women...If we are going to be equals - we should be equals in all aspects of life. And "No" I do not condone INEQUALLY as I feel that all man ( Men and Women) are equal.
3. SIGNS - To us men. a woman that expects to be wined and dined on each date eventhough they have been dating for a good amount of time (Ex. over 6 months) - This comes off as if woman has no intension in becoming an equal partner in the relationship. It also comes off as egoistical on the woman's part - since many women have been quoted to say " What can he do for me" - A relationship is not and should not be about what the man can do for women financially. That is a recipe for the D word.
Women have their own assertions as to why men should be paying for every date - They are as follows;
1. PROVIDER - Women believe that the evidence of men covering the bill at every date/ outing they have says that the men they are dating will possibly be a good provider.
2. PAMPERED - Women want to be pampered and taken care of. They seem to feel that way when the man is able to easily cover the expenses.
3. SECURITY - To women this says alot about furture financial security with the men they are dating.
If you have any questions or inquiries feel free to contact me at Aarao.mailto:Aarao.Dossantos1@gmail.com
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Unfortunately our modern society is not as equal as it is commercialized to be. This is a man's world like james brown said. lol. So pretty much get money, and u get the girl is what it is.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that after dating for a substantial period of time the man should be the only one financially responsible for advancing the relationship...I certainly want to be pampered but I also like to pamper whoever I am with...Both parties are responsible for making the other feel well taken cared of and both should treat each other to dinners, movies, shows, plays...etc...No one should be keeping score...Someone will start feeling resentful at some point if they feel they are the only one doing the giving while the other person just take..
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the case is that this occurs more often than not...where the man wip up the credit card, where the woman sit there and wait for the man to cover the bill - The fact of the matter is that not all but a good majority of woman dont even offer to pay or help with the bill. That gesture goes a long way (just be honest in your gesture though)
ReplyDeleteI never went 3 months having to be the one paying for everthing, so six is a bit extensive. Apply- assertiveness do not be so passive, defend ur personal boundaries, dont allow people to abuse or manipulate them. Be considerate(dont only give if u dont receive). Be courteous and polite to an extent cuz "mr. nice guy" has been taken advantage of...
ReplyDeleteI don't think a man should pay for every date, but I do think he should pay for the first date. I don't really know why lol.. just think they should. If women want to be equal, then i think they should be able to pay.
ReplyDeleteYes, Im glad a woman concurs, unfortunately not enough do - but again those are the ones that seem to complain they cant find a good man - when they find one they want to take advantage of him. It is indeed agreed that the man should cover the first date and perhaps the second, since he asked her out. But after that the woman should at least express some sort of courtesy in acknowledging that the man is not solely responsible in that regard.
ReplyDeleteahhh, the paying debate. it's one of my favorites. a man should pay during the "dating" stage. Why? Because it's a "date". By definition that is different from other types of interactions where women might be on more equal footing when the bill comes. If I go out with a male friend, sure I can pay sometimes. If someone is "courting" me (which essentially is what dating IS, or what it should be) then that's part of the process. If you can't afford it, find some free activities. If you don't want to, find a sugar mama.
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