Should Men or Women pay on the date???

All too often the question does come up as to whom should pay the check/ bill at the end of the date.  It is widely agreed between both men and women that on the first date that men should pay. However, there has been a long debate as to whom should pay thereafter.

Men have their reservations as to why men should not be paying for every date - They are as follows;

1. PAYING FOR A WOMAN'S ATTENTION - It comes across as though we are paying for the woman's attention... If it is ever going to get past the dating phase then there needs to some kind of sharing. Besides a relationship is a shared venture and not a one-sided journey...

2. EQUALITY - The term equality should not only apply to certain things like equal pay in the workforce, or being treated equally respect wise....Equality should apply to everything and not only when its convinient to the women...If we are going to be equals - we should be equals in all aspects of life. And  "No" I do not condone INEQUALLY as I feel that all man ( Men and Women) are equal.

3. SIGNS - To us men. a woman that expects to be wined and dined on each date eventhough they have been dating for a good amount of time (Ex. over 6 months) - This comes off as if woman has no intension in becoming an equal partner in the relationship. It also comes off as egoistical on the woman's part - since many women have been quoted to say " What can he do for me" - A relationship is not and should not be about what the man can do for women financially. That is a recipe for the D word.

Women have their own assertions as to why men should be paying for every date - They are as follows;


1. PROVIDER - Women believe that the evidence of men covering the bill at every date/ outing they have says that the men they are dating will possibly be a good provider.

2. PAMPERED - Women want to be pampered and taken care of. They seem to feel that way when the man is able to easily cover the expenses.

3. SECURITY - To women this says alot about furture financial security with the men they are dating.

If you have any questions or inquiries feel free to contact me at Aarao.mailto:Aarao.Dossantos1@gmail.com

Becoming your girlfriend / boyfriend 's priority - Men & Women

Becoming your love interest's priority is not hard at all, provided that he/she already cares a great deal about you - Here are some among many things you can do to bring that about.....

1. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to their likes and dislikes - Show them that you are attentive to their wants and needs. Now there is a limit to everything, don't shower her/him with so much attention that they would feel you are obsessed with them.

2. BUY A GIFT - Sometimes we mention things that we would love to have to our girlfriends/boyfriends that don't always expect them to take action and go ahead purchase that item for you. Those gifts are at times the most meaningful ones, so if you were listening to what they were saying you would what to get them and essentially put that bright luminous smile on their faces (This at times brings you closer as a relationship) - Now don't go crazy buying you girlfriend/ boyfriend everything that they say they would love to have. The saying goes "Too much of anything is not good for anyone".

3. TAKE IT UP A NOTCH - Everytime you get down (have sex), make sure that its better than the last. The purpose of being amorus it's not just to satisfy oneself, but to be sure to satisfy your partner. "What you give is what you get". After a while is can get monotonus, which would negatively affect your relationship in the long run.

4. HE / SHE IS NOT GRANTED - Do not take your love interest for granted ever!! There are so many temptations out there that one slip by you can cause him/ her to go look for that attention elsewhere....That probably would not feel so good to you.....

5. KEEP YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS - Whatever it is that you did in the beginning of the relationship to get your girlfriend/ boyfriend so interested in you - KEEP DOING IT, Just modify it from time to time. If that was dressing very nice they he or she likes, your attitude towards him/her.

GAINING CONFIDENCE - Men & Women

1. SOCIAL BUTTERFLY - Work on becoming a social butterfly. Go out with your friends often and meet new people while at it.

2. BE FEARLESS - Talking with new should not feel like a chore, make it fun...Talk about fun things such as hobbies and things that you may have in common. That always ends up being fun and exciting!!.

3. SMILE - Work on smiling to the point it becomes as natural as breathing. Don't force if you are just not that type of person. But usually when you meet someone you like, the natural reaction is that you tend to smile more, so be around the people you like a great deal.

4. WHAT OTHERS THINK - Should not matter to you. Provided that you have more morals standards and ethics then you should not even worry about what other think of you. What matters is what you think you of yourself - that is good way to drive up your confidence. Just don't be some immersed in yourself that you forget to listen to some criticisms, because some criticism is good as it allows you to grow.

5. BE INVITING - dont be stand offish - What this tells other people is that you either have a BIG HEAD or have very little confidence in yourself that you feel the best way to deal with your insecurities is by pushing people away.

5 Signs that She/ He is like you...

WOMEN

1. EYE CONTACT - She will focus her eyes on you...she will not be easily distracted with the surrounding as if you are the most important person in the room and nothing else matters.

2. FACE IN YOUR DIRECTION - She will square her shoulder in your direction, she will cross her legs in your direction, she may even tilt her head in your direction.

3. PHYSICAL CONTACT - She will find a way to touch you, perhaps it may be by lightly hitting you on your knew or forearm.

4. SMILING - She will smile at almost anything you say. She will smile at your jokes even they are not funny at all. If you know your jokes are not that funny and she laughs at each one of them, your in the clear in terms of her liking you.

5. QUESTIONS - She will ask you in depth questions that concern you...These questions could range from 1. What are your hobbies? 2. How many siblings do you have? What are your future goals in life?

MEN

1. EYE CONTACT - He maintains eye contact - Guys are not known for maintaning good eye contact, but when they do be very sure he likes you.

2. CLOSENESS - He tries to get close to you either explicitly or subtly as you converse.

3. NERVOUSNESS - No matter calm, cool and collected he is, there will be instances where he will display signs of nervousness if you pay close attention. Example, he may stutter, forget certain easy words etc.

4. QUESTIONS - He will ask you questions about what you like such as your hobbies, what you do for fun, how many siblings you have and the like.

5. SECOND DATE??? -  He will mention the prospects of another date, usually would say "We" should do this again sometime. "We" should check out this eatery in NYC next time.

DOs and DON'Ts of a First Date.....

DOs

1. CHOOSE A PLACE THAT YOU ARE BOTH OK WITH....Perhaps a restaurant (Mexican, French, Italian etc.), Starbucks, other coffee shops, Lounges etc.

2. ARRIVE ON TIME - If you are running late, be curtious enough to inform the other party in advance that you running a bit behing schedule.

3. WEAR SOMETHING CASUAL AND DRESSY AT THE SAME TIME.... do not be too casual or too dressy ( You want to be right in the middle).

4. YOUR COLOGNE /PERFUME should be worn lightly - No one 100 feet from you should be able to smell your scent, that just means that you sprayed on too much... Besides, the  party may just end up being nauseated.

5. BE YOURSELF -  You are now on this date to get to know each other...Off course you are not going show her your kwirkiness, that's usually an acquired taste. Be a gentleman, be a lady....

6. TALK ABOUT YOUR COMMONAILITIES - Engage in a conversation about a topic in which you both feel the same. For example - The two of you enjoy extreme sports like climbing, bungie jumping, snowboarding - that will keep the conversation interesting and going, which is better than awkward and forced. Keep it natural and flowing...

7. BE CHIVALROUS / BE A LADY WITH ELEGANCE - (Men) Open the door for her, on the sidewalk have her walk on the side farthest from the road, show her you can protect her from harms way... (Women) - Be gracious in what he does, don't expect him to do these nice things for you and you not express a thank you or a thank you smile.

8. ASK QUESTIONS - these question should be about what the party likes such as what they do on their spare time, hobbies, socially etc.

9. PHYSICAL CONTACT - Make it point to have some physical contact with the other party. For example it could be a slight hug once you first meet, or a kiss or two on the cheek depending on your culture... later in the date you can find a way to touch eachother...(Men) put your arms around her as you are walking, playfully touvh her knee or comment on her bracelet or finger ring and there will be a change touch her hand. (Women) As he makes a joke or states something interesting, tap him on the arm, that can be the forearm or the shoulder (That can be done in a way that he does not notice your intentions).

10. PAYING FOR THE DATE - (Men) Always be ready to pay for the date - Make sure to bring CASH or PLASTIC!!!. (Women) Expect the guy to pay for the date, but it is nice gesture if you were to offer to go dutch or help with the bill some way somehow - a different light is shed upon you when this happen, but genuine though.

DON'Ts

1. LATE - running late, but don't take the time to let the other party know that you will be late - BIG TURN OFF!!!.

2. TALK ABOUT YOUR EX - One the worst topics is to mention your ex and how you broke up and all. ANOTHER BIG TURN OFF!!!.

3. TOUCHY FEELY - Make physical contact, but too much can be a bit scary for either party, which may say to the other party that you are a bit clingy.

4. WEARING FAKE BLING - a bit of shine is good, but too much is just tacky - and this goes for both parties equally.

5. BRAG OR TALK ABOUT YOURSELF ENDLESSLY - We want the other person to know a bit about us, but we have give the other person to share with us about themselves as well.

6. TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE - Its the FIRST DATE, leave the marriage talk for a later date, you don't want to bring about uncomfort on the date with such a topic.

7. ASKING QUESTIONS THAT ARE TOO PERSONAL - When you ask questions that are just too personal, it makes the other party a bit uncomfortable and the date may just end a bit earlier than anticipated.

8. DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH - One of the worst behaviors on a date is just that, ending up Under the Influence of Alcohol - It says you don't have much self control and thus the other party may just not want to see you again.

9. KEEP YOUR CELLPHONE OFF OR ON VIBRATE - It's just plain rude to constantly answer your phone during a first date unless its a very important phone call. Other than that keep your phone from ringing loudly during this encounter.

10. PUSHING THE BILL TO OTHER PARTY - Playing hot potatoes with the check is just not very mature and it's downright tacky and uncivilized.

For Women - Attracting / Approaching Men

Here is the scoop so you ladies can easily approach a guy and not leave the guy thinking that you are either a playette or just plain too agressive (scary for a guy).

1. FIRST AND FOREMOST you need to have CONFIDENCE (Self assurance), that you can be rejected and dust yourself off and keep going.

2. GREET the guy you are interested in... Smile at him, without being too obvious let him know you are interested... Because men are not used to being approached by women,  they need to be eased into it....

3. PAY HIM A COMPLIMENT - perhaps it's his shoes or the shirt he is wearing....Spark conversation as a result of the compliment. Keep the conversation going...

4. DRESS APPROPRIATELY- They way you present yourself is how others are going to perceive you!!.... Those short mini skirts and short shorts are nice and attractive, but that is the kind of attention you are going to get (You know what I mean - You can contact me at Aarao.Dossantos1@gmail.com).

5. AVOID TOO MUCH MAKE UP - Men appreciate natural beauty. If you do wear make up, wear it very lightly - the more attention you going to get (beauty is in the eye of the beholder).

6. BE YOURSELF - I know this sounds quite wierd when discussing women, but it happens to women as well. They get nervous just like men do.

7. DON'T PLAY GAMES - Playing hard to get is a turn off for some men - Games are just not part of their agenda. Giving him your phone number and not pciking up when he calls is just plain childish. ( There are those whom constantly complain of not being able to find a good man, but when they do find one, they don't seem to know what to do).

8. BREAK THE BARRIER OF PHYSICAL CONTACT - During your short conversation, find a way to touch him....If you are sitting next to each other, as you're talking touch his knee but careful not to rest it there until you both feel very much confortable with each other. At this point the purpose of touching him is to subtly let him know you are very interested in him.

9. GET AND KEEP HIS ATTENTION by having a vague conversation such as books, social events, hobbies...but do not try discuss personal things at that point....Show him you are a fun person to be around.

10. GETTING / EXCHANGING INFO for a possible date...Just suggest hanging out, perhaps going for drinks or quick bite. Suggesting a date is just too strong a word for someone you just met and may run him away. The purpose here is to not make too obvious that you are interested in a relationship with this guy, it just puts people at ease when you say "hanging out" as opposed to saying " Going out on a date"....

Any questions or further feedback don't hesitate to email me at Aarao.dossantos1@gmail.com

Approaching Women

Approaching women  - There is no science to it....it is actually very simple... see the steps below;

1. The number one thing/ quality you need to have in CONFIDENCE - When you approach women, whether you are nervous or not, you have to appear calm, cool and collected.

2. If you are going to pay her a compliment, avoid the sexually charged compliments (you know what I mean!!), COMPLIMENT her on what she is wearing, perhaps her perfume, her earrings, the color of her dress/ blouse etc.

3. Approach with a smile - show her that you are happy with yourself , which  makes you appear confident - In turn it would help lower her guard. (If she is attractive then she gets approached very often and thus her guard must be up).

4. Ensure that you are clean - Women are very perceptive and observant as they will notice everything about you the minute you approach them...
                           a. You should have a good sense of style ( So fresh and so clean) - check out  www.GQ.com
                           b. Your teeth should be white and free of food particles and your breath have the smell of  mint.
                           c. Your hair and facial hair should be nicely groomed.
                           d. Your nails should be trimmed and clean.
5. Have the " I don't care atitude" - Act as though rejections don't faze you. We all have gone through rejection and the most sucessfull people in the world are those whom never let rejections keep them down, instead they use it as a fuel to keep going or to do better next time.


6. whatever you do, do not stare at any cost - It can be scare to the girl you are looking to attract. It may perhaps be better for to be pleasantly surprised as opposed to seeing you from across room staring at her and stalling....

7. DO NOT BE FLASHY - If you are looking to attract a gold digger then by all means keep doing what you are doing.....If you are looking for a simple, down to mars girl then be as simple possible without being too simple. Have style, coordinate your colors, but just don't coordinate from head to toe (mix and match - with elegance).


8.  Don't use those LAME lines - BE yourself, don't try to be someone else you are not. Women appreciate honesty, they know you dont have a Hummer nor a Bentley, but if you are able to make them smile/laugh you are a shoe in... LISTEN to what she has to say, BE engaged in the conversation, BE creative in how you ask for her phone number (Don't be too straight forward and tell her to give you her phone number). Ex. I would love to get to know more about you, how can I get in touch with you?

9. Make her your center of attention for that period of time. - Don't even try looking at another girl across the room with the red tight dress, the minute she sees you do that, she will think you are DOOSH......

10. Make physical contact - it could be a kiss on the cheek or a soft playful touch on her arm or back. Once you break that barrier, you know at that point that she feels confortable enough with you to let you touch her at all.